My life has been greatly affected by psychiatry.
As a result of psychiatric medication, I find myself to be fat, stupid and ugly. And when I tell them that, they don't seem to listen. I am losing patience with this system and I am losing patience with the staffers that keep asking me the same question. This morning, guess what the nurse said to me? "Well Eoin, nothing strange?". In my own angry and almost demented way, I thought about replying to her that "the only thing that's strange is me".
I have tried coming off the medication numerous times and each time I end up back in the admissions unit, in a locked ward with no way out.
I have tried talking to my father and he says 'just do what they tell you to do'. I have tried talking to my mother and she says "your behavior isn't normal". I have tried to explain things to my brother and he says "I don't know what to say".
I have been seeing a homeopath here in Kerry since October 2019 and I think it might be helping me to a certain degree. However, when I put it to her that I can't see them taking me off these medications she goes off in a tangent and her answer was so irrelevant I can't even remember what she said.
There are so many people in Ireland and around the world in a similar situation, I reckon. Most of them end up dead eventually, without ever even having their voices heard.
Irish society is described as being open-minded and modern in Wikipedia and other publications around the internet. They come to this conclusion because of our governments approach to homosexuality, religion, immigration, abortion and so on.
If our government is regarded as modern and forward thinking, then why don't they have a look at the psychiatric practices of involuntary hospitalization, forced drugging, and extremely harmful medications?
Due to the fact that my life is at stake, I feel that my only option is to fight.
And when I fight, the psychiatrist puts it down as part of the 'illness'. Everything I do is put down to the 'illness'.
When I was involuntarily hospitalized last year I was told by a nurse 'if you don't take these medications, we will have to do IM'. By 'IM' he meant Involuntary Medication. I had been assaulted by another patient the day before and then I get that news - 'we may have to do IM'. Get lost.
My life just seems to be one injustice after another. And I really don't know how to end the injustices.
Why don't we just love and accept one another on this planet rather than analyzing and judging and diagnosing one another with so called 'mental illness'.
Well a few days have passed since I wrote the above commentary and I am after having an epiphany moment in terms of my personal development on Tuesday, the day before yesterday.
I have been meaning to do a google search to find out the meaning of the phrase 'to fight fire with fire'.
Well, on Tuesday the phrase came to mind and I finally go round to doing the google search.
And what turned up first in the search results was the song 'Fight fire with fire' by Metallica.
I pressed the youtube link and listened to the song. The lyrics were provided for me to read along with the song.
A smile came to my face and felt overcome by the sense of humour of Metallica.
Basically, the song explains in no uncertain terms that when one fights fire with fire, as the American and British forces are sometimes prone to do in places like Iraq and Afghanistan, all that happens is death and destruction.
And that is the moral of the story. It is a lesson that I badly needed to learn. And listening to that song on Tuesday lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders.
I was in jovial mood yesterday at home in Tralee over dinner with my two parents, my brother and his wife and two young children.
Don't ever fight fire with fire. I think I heard the phrase being used in the media many years ago, probably in my early adulthood, and applied it to my own life.
Never fight fire with fire.
Most mother always says "two wrongs don't make a right" when I am fighting with my father or my brother.
If someone insults you or intimidates you, do not fight back. Jesus Christ in the Bible chose to turn the other cheek, because he was wise enough not to fight fire with fire.
Why don't warring politicians such as George W. Bush in the US and Tony Blair of Great Britain who united to lead invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan in the search for both weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and the so-called 9/11 ringleader Osama Bin Laden in Afghanistan.
Don't ever permit yourself to fight fire with fire, and if you are persuaded, listen to that song 'Fight fire with fire' by Metallica. It's available for free on Youtube.
I have been making giant strides since committing to a twice-daily meditation routine. Prior to then, my life was on a definite downward trajectory. Fighting and arguing with all those around me, including my father, my mother, my brother. Getting into trouble with An Garda Siochana in Tralee by stealing breaking the speed limit. Also getting into trouble with Merseyside Police and being arrested and brought before a judge when I was in Liverpool in 2012. Fighting with my classmates Billy Sheehan and Peter Quillinan as a schoolboy in Tralee CBS. Being diagnosed by psychiatrists here and there and at various stages of my life with serious mental illnesses such as depression, Bipolar disorder, and even quite recently Schizophrenia. But I feel as though I have turned a corner recently, and rather than moving in a downward trajectory like I have been since I was about 16 years old, I feel as though I am moving in an upward trajectory now. And my problems are not as big as they used to be. I am inclined to believe that it may be down to the meditation routine that I have established. Kudos to Emily Fletcher at zivameditation.com where I learned to meditate.